“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

I’ve seen the Promised Land.

Absolute Legend. A Hero. Mine Eyes Have Seen.

Who are your biggest real-life heroes?

WASHINGTON, UNITED STATES:  US civil rights leader Martin Luther King,Jr. (C) waves to supporters from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial 28 August 1963 on the Mall in Washington DC (Washington Monument in background) during the "March on Washington". 28 August marks the 40th anniversary of the famous "I Have a Dream" speech, which is credited with mobilizing supporters of desegregation and prompted the 1964 Civil Rights Act.  Martin Luther King was assassinated on 04 April 1968 in Memphis, Tennessee. James Earl Ray confessed to shooting King and was sentenced to 99 years in prison. AFP PHOTO/FILES (Photo credit should read AFP/AFP/Getty Images)

WASHINGTON, UNITED STATES: US civil rights leader Martin Luther King,Jr. (C) waves to supporters from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial 28 August 1963 on the Mall in Washington DC (Washington Monument in background) during the “March on Washington”. 28 August marks the 40th anniversary of the famous “I Have a Dream” speech, which is credited with mobilizing supporters of desegregation and prompted the 1964 Civil Rights Act. Martin Luther King was assassinated on 04 April 1968 in Memphis, Tennessee. James Earl Ray confessed to shooting King and was sentenced to 99 years in prison. AFP PHOTO/FILES (Photo credit should read AFP/AFP/Getty Images)

As we embark upon another new year, today we have a transformational guest post from my fellow HERO Challenge member Emelina Minero, cofounder of the Love Warrior Community. This is sure to help you overcome some limiting beliefs and negative self-talk, so I highly encourage you to dig into this article as you plan the year ahead. With that, here’s Emelina:

***

I’m going to tell you a secret. I was walking with a friend at George Lucas’ Big Rock Ranch, and we were talking about the power of thought.

I was telling her about the thoughts, feelings, actions loop. She shared with me that she had just recently heard about that, and it revolutionized her life.

In case you haven’t heard about it, here you go:

Your thoughts influence your emotions, and your emotions influence your actions.

Like the Buddha said:

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.”

If you think you’re going to fail. You’re going to fail. If you think you’re not good enough, that’s the life you’re going to attract, proving to yourself that you’re not good enough.

You Have the Power to Change Your Beliefs

A belief is created by repeating a thought, over and over again. Our behaviors are formed in the same way. We strengthen neural pathways by repeating the same thoughts and behaviors.

Think of a neural pathway like a canvas, and you are the paintbrush. The more you repeat the brush stroke, the thicker the paint will get. The more you repeat a thought or behavior, the stronger the neural pathway will become in strengthening that thought or behavior.

Let’s say every time you’re stressed, you smoke a cigarette to relax. This action creates a brain pathway, which will trigger you to want to smoke every time you feel stressed.

But here’s the thing — at any moment, you can reverse these thoughts. You can reverse your behaviors. At any moment, you can choose differently. You can choose to create new neural pathways.

Instead of grabbing a cigarette each time you feel stressed, what if you replaced that with going for a run, stretching, meditating, or calling a friend — soon, when you begin to feel stressed, your brain will trigger you, craving a run, meditating, or calling a friend.

At Some Point, We All Play the Victim

I can’t quit smoking. It’s just too difficult. I can’t get this business going. I can never follow through. I’ll never close my first deal. People just don’t respond to cold calling, webinars, email lists, [fill in the blank.]

Let Me Know If This Is Where You’re At Right Now

You feel overwhelmed and discouraged after embarking on your new business, blog, or goals, and you give up; you stop taking action. You quit.

You always quit. This is what you tell yourself. You’re great at starting projects, but you can never finish them. It’s not your fault. You’re just not capable of following through.

Or How About This? 

You walk into a bar, see the most beautiful girl, want to approach her, and don’t.

You never approach her. You’re not good with women. You freeze up. You become awkward. You don’t know what to say. So why even try if you already know the outcome?

You Have to Know Your Beliefs Before You Can Change Them

Do you have trouble with following through on your goals? Are you the person who never approaches the woman? Why?

Let’s say you never approach the attractive girl. Here’s why:

Every time you see an attractive girl you want to talk to, you start thinking, “I’m shy. What would I have to say of interest? The guy talking to her right now is more attractive than me. She’s a 10, and I’m a 6. Why bother?”

Every time you see an attractive girl you want to talk to, the above thoughts begin to play like a broken record. You might not even be aware of them. They’re the unconscious background playing throughout your day.

Everyone has thought patterns, a series of thoughts that they repeat every day. A lot of the time, they’re negative, and most of the time, we’re unaware of them.

You can’t change something you’re not aware of. 

Learn to View Your Charged Thoughts and Emotions Objectively

To become aware of and change your thoughts, you need to develop your inner observer. Your inner observer is that part of you that observes and notices your thoughts objectively. This is different from your inner critic.

Let’s say you’re on a mastermind call, you’re sharing what you’re working on, and you realize that you just said something that can make you appear really stupid.

Your inner critic activates your emotions and remarks on your flaws. “I’m so stupid! Why did I just say that? They’re going to realize I’m a complete beginner.”

Your inner observer notices your thoughts, including your self-criticisms, and detaches from the anxiety and other uncomfortable emotions that they’re prompting. This allows you to notice your thoughts and work with them from an objective viewpoint.

Instead of thinking, “I just said something so stupid! They’re going to think I’m a fraud.” Your inner observer may notice, “What I just said doesn’t make any sense. They’re going to realize I’m still learning this, and that’s okay. Now that they know that I’m struggling, I can tell them that I’m still trying to figure this out and ask for help. I’ll be able to make a lot more progress now in a shorter amount of time.”

How to Develop Your Inner Observer

Make it simple. Give yourself 5 minutes once a week. You will simply sit for 5 minutes, and notice your thoughts. Write down what you notice.

If you want to speed up this process, carve out 5 minutes a day, and try this for a week.

You’ll notice that you have thought patterns.

I often think about:

  • What I have to do or should be doing
  • How I want to be more in the present moment with my family and friends, instead of thinking about or doing work
  • My energy levels, and how I should be taking better care of myself so I won’t be craving caffeine
  • How I want caffeine

My most prevalent thoughts are about my to-do list. They start right when I wake up, not in a productive, “Let’s get going!” manner, but in a nagging, “You should have already done this” manner. When I allow those thoughts to prevail in the morning, they drag me down. My morning and my energy start on a low note.

My mornings don’t have to start out like this.

Once You’re Aware of Your Thoughts, You Can Change Them

Once you catch your thought, you can confront it, replace it, apologize to yourself, and commit to change. This is called the 5-Step Process:

  1. Catch your thought.
  2. Confront your thought.
  3. Replace your thought.
  4. Apologize to yourself.
  5. Commit to change.

The 5-Step Process helps you to create new neural pathways, forming the thoughts and behaviors that you want to manifest.

If you want more in-depth practice on the 5-Step Process, you can join me in the 31-Day Self-Love Diet Writing Challenge. It’s a free event. You can sign up here, and you’ll receive 31 Self-Love Diet writing prompts for 31 days in a row, as well as have access to a free, private Facebook group for accountability and support.

The Self-Love Diet expands beyond the 5-Step Process. More specifically, it’s exploring your relationship with yourself through the lens of your spirit, body, emotions, thoughts, relationships, culture, and world.

It increases your self-awareness, your emotional awareness, and your self-confidence. 

I know, the term Self-Love Diet sounds woo woo.

But here’s the thing — being in charge of your life, not playing the victim, it boils down to:

  1. Becoming aware of your thoughts and emotions
  2. Being okay with experiencing and feeling all of your emotions
  3. Having the power to choose how you respond to your emotions

If you can do the above three things, you can begin to create the thoughts and feelings that you want to experience. You’ll be able to successfully change your behaviors, and you’ll even be able to change long-held, harmful beliefs.

How you view yourself, how you interact with the world, and how others perceive you — you have the power to shape these things.

You have the power over how you experience each moment of your life. You always have a choice.

Let Me Introduce Myself

I’m Emelina Minero, and I love and accept myself unconditionally. This too sounds woo woo, I know.

But I also know this: I believe in myself fully. I know I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. There are no obstacles that limit me — because I’ve stopped limiting myself.

  • I’ve created two online communities and a publication.
  • I’ve gotten free trips to Palm Springs, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and London.
  • I wrote, directed, produced, and hosted a variety show and donated the profits to nonprofit Una Vida.
  • I created a documentary about the transition of my woman’s college to a coed institution.
  • I pitched the publisher of Curve Magazine, the best-selling lesbian magazine in the world, to develop their social media platform and to create an intern program. She said yes.
  • I made a connection with the former President of Production at Paramount Pictures, who now owns her own production company.
    • She’s going to give me feedback on a screenplay that I wrote.
    • Through her, I interviewed Alexis Bledel (Gilmore Girls) and Mary Agnes Donoghue, a screenwriter, director, and producer whose credits include White Oleander, Beaches, and Veronica Guerin.
    • I was also flown to LA for the premiere of Jenny’s Wedding, where I got to interview Katherine Heigl (Grey’s Anatomy) in-person.
  • Through the Love Warrior Community, an online community I co-created, I’ve helped people change their behaviors and how they view themselves. People have told us that they’ve:
    • Stopped cutting themselves
    • Let go of their shame around their mental diagnoses
    • Lessened or stopped their eating disorder behaviors
    • Become more comfortable with expressing their emotions, and because of that, they’ve strengthened their relationships with their partners

If loving myself and accepting myself unconditionally sounds woo woo, I don’t care. 

It feels a lot better than shaming myself, doubting myself, and not taking action on the life that I want to live.

I know what fear feels like.

I lived in fear from 5-years-old to 19-years-old. I feared what would happen if people found out that I was a lesbian. Now, I no longer care. I let go of that fear a long time ago.

I know what shame feels like.

I struggled with being diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder and paranoia. I feared how others would perceive me if they found out. I struggled with how I viewed myself. For a while, I stopped believing that I had the power to choose how I reacted to my emotions and how I reacted to my life experiences. I believed that my diagnoses controlled me, but they don’t.

I let go of the struggle, and I let go of the shame.

I now view my neurodiversities as strengths, and opportunities to further explore myself and grow as a human being.

How did I do this?

I wrote. I did self-love writing. Self-love writing is what I have been doing for the past 6 years. It’s essentially allowing yourself to self-reflect.

Today, I can honestly say that I love all of myself. Loving myself doesn’t mean that I never have self-doubts, insecurities, or negative thoughts, but it does mean that I’m equipped to become aware of them, confront them, and try to change them. Loving myself doesn’t mean that life will always be easy, but it does mean that I’ll be able to navigate it in the most loving way that I can. Loving myself doesn’t mean that I will always choose the most loving thing for myself in each moment, but it does mean that I will be kind and patient with myself.

My Only Two Life-Long Goals

I’m going to share my only two long-term goals with you. If you can embody these two things, you’ll be able to accomplish anything you set your mind to.

1) Live life with love — non-judgmental, compassionate, unconditional love – for myself, and for others.

When you stop judging yourself and others, people pick up on this. When you’re comfortable with yourself, people notice. It invites others to feel comfortable as they are, to let down their walls, and to be open to you in a non-judgmental, compassionate way.

Loving and accepting yourself, as you are, invites others to do the same. It’s contagious.

Would you rather spend your time with someone who makes you feel comfortable in your own skin, who brings you into the present moment, and makes you feel alive, or would you rather spend your time with someone who makes your feel self-conscious and insecure?

It’s a no-brainer.

By loving yourself, you can have this effect on others. Others will be drawn to you for how you make them feel. This will open doors for you, create new connections, and expand your possibilities.

2) Create a vision, dream big, and follow your heart. As Dr. Seuss said:

As vast as your vision can show,

As high as your highest dreams grow,

As far as your passion can reach –

These are the places you’ll go.

Without a vision, without a map, it’s hard to get to your destination. If you want to change your behaviors, but you don’t have the self-awareness to know the first step to take, it will be difficult to make that change. If you want to start a business, but you don’t have a plan, it will be hard to follow through.

A detailed plan is helpful, but you don’t have to have every single step figured out. Allow yourself to dream big and to follow your heart. Allow yourself to be inspired. If you have a plan, and there are a few steps you don’t know how to do, don’t let that stop you. You can ask for help. You can find resources. You just need to keep on moving forward and taking action, one step at a time.

You are your worst enemy and your biggest supporter. Your success depends on which you choose to nurture.

Which will you choose?

I hope you join me in the 31-Day Self-Love Diet Writing Challenge. You can sign up here, and join the Facebook event here.

May the force be with you, if you choose it. That choice is up to you.

-Emelina Minero

 

[Republished from 2016]

Happy New Year!

I’m still catching up from lost time with my pink eye, but I’m hustling all NYE and all weekend to make this Hero Project happen.

How was your year? Have you guys done an annual review, or set goals for the year ahead yet?

I have a very special gift for you from my good friend Tim Walther, founder of Grand Dynamics in Jackson Hole, Wyoming:

Holiday Gift: Download the 2017 Personal Mastery Guide

2017 personal mastery

Act quick and get Tim’s 2017 Personal Mastery Guide, which offers a framework for your reflection on 2016 and a new year’s resolution guide for visioning and planning for 2017. Click below to download your personal copy, FREE for Hero Project supporters (normal price is $9.95).

Click here to download (Hero Project Members Only)

Dear friends,

Another lap around the sun comes to a close. 2016 was filled with its share of challenges, but we’re grateful for several opportunities for healing and growth, and lots of quality family time.

McKibben Christmas

My son Chris turned 2 years old in February. Thankfully his Lolo and Lola were able to make a visit to Thailand to be present for his birthday!

parents visit Chiang Mai

We put 4 stamps in Chris’ passport — taking the family to Malaysia, to the Petronas Twin Towers, spending some months in overcrowded Manila, working tirelessly to get travel documents to visit the USA.

Petronas Twin Towers KL

We flew Jam’s mother on her first airplane in her life to meet us in Cebu, Philippines, for a family weekend on the beach.

family beach holiday

After 3 attempts we finally secured Jam’s US visa, and we spent 3 months in America, giving Chris the chance to finally meet his sick Grandma and the extended family for the first time! We had many fun adventures and got to spend lots of time with my mother, helping her through some intense cancer treatment in Arizona over the summer.

meeting Grandma

cancer treatment center

Chris went to classes at a local school in Sacramento for a few months, and fell in love with another young Filipino-American 3-year-old Thea Rosa! 🙂

California summer

McKibben Tahoe trip

We had a nice family holiday in Lake Tahoe with Great Grandma and Auntie Jaime. We roadtripped down the Pacific Coast Highway from Santa Cruz to Santa Barbara, through Hollywood and across the Palm Desert, past Joshua Tree National Park, and into Arizona, just outside of Phoenix to be with Mom during her major surgery.

breast cancer surgery

cancer ward

Mom’s spirits remained high through many months of difficult trials. She recently completed treatment and is finally back in the comfort of home. My sister told me on Christmas Day (and I just confirmed with Mom on the phone Wednesday) the doctors say they can’t find any trace of cancerous cells from the scans!

DSC00671

Thanks to many of you for your warm support and invaluable help during our lengthy struggle to get travel documents and get the family back home to support Mom.

grandma and grandson

family portrait

Now we’re back home in Asia, settling down and making our home in Chiang Mai, Thailand. I’ve spent 2016 straightening out an injured spine, getting off pain pills and going 100% natural, I did a mountain of inner work, and I’ve just done my second 30-day meditation challenge.

On the Work Front:

Currently I’m working like I haven’t done in years. My book concept is coming along slowly (tentatively called Chasing the Sun), and in 2017, I’m hoping to team up with my good friend Dwight Turner and his organization Courageous Kitchen to finally launch my dream project!

I call it The HERO Project — iterating an exciting new learning framework with our supporters, based around Joseph Campbell’s perennial “Hero’s Journey” monomyth. It’s an early-stage conceptual educational model that I want to develop into online courses, homeschooling curricula, and maybe one day a brick-and-mortar school here in Thailand.

We’ll aim to provide free skills training and experimental educational programs to empower underprivileged children and young adults in Bangkok with entrepreneurial skills, while we also develop a practical online personal development & learning platform with a fun, interesting storytelling style for our supporters. You can read more and support the project here.

I’m also excited for our upcoming Nomad Summit here in Chiang Mai on February 4th! Last year was an incredible event with 230 enthusiastic attendees, and this time around promises to be twice as impactful! Hope to see one or two of you for a visit to sunny Thailand! 🙂

I’ll continue writing here at Thrilling Heroics about all these developments and more in 2017, and sharing the behind-the-scenes journey with Hero Project patrons!

I pray for great opportunities in the New Year for YOU to chase your biggest, wildest dreams! We wish you a very happy holiday season and a prosperous, transformative 2017!

Wherever you are in the world, we hope you’re happy and thriving! Thank you for your love and continued support ️❤️

-Cody, Jam Milcah, and Christopher (from Thailand with love)

happy nomad family

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! ?

A great time to move our focus towards gratitude. To count our blessings.

What are you grateful for?

My friend Gus Turner recently posed a challenge asking friends to practice gratitude in the emotional days after the US elections.

Here’s my video for the #MakeAmericaGratefulAgain Gratitude Challenge:

Big shout outs to:

  • My father, mother, stepmother, and grandmother.
  • My 90 Day Hero’s Challenge MasterMind crew!
  • Rob Hanly and the Maintaining Alpha accelerator group.
  • Zachary Stockill – thanks for helping me dip my toes into meditation back in Chile.
  • Matt Goult – for many insightful conversations.
  • Yamile Yemoonyah, creator of Spirit Guide School.
  • Amber Zuckswert and Daniel Finnerty of Epic Self.

Whether you’re American or not, Thanksgiving is as good an excuse as any to be reminded of gratitude and to meditate on the people and things you’re thankful for.

I highly recommend each of you film your own short (1 min) video just thanking a few people close to you for what they’ve contributed to your life, or simply expressing your thankfulness for … well, whatever it is you’re thankful for this Thanksgiving!

(And if you want to join me, my Queen, and some good friends of mine for a 30-day meditation and mindfulness challenge starting today, from Thanksgiving through to Christmas and beyond, join the free Facebook group here!)

Anyone in the world, American or not, in the US or abroad, please join us in expressing gratitude. Let’s counter the noise and negativity with positivity, gratitude, and love!

Here’s Gus’ original post:

#MakeAmericaGratefulAgain I've had the idea of a gratitude challenge for months after talking with a friend. Given everything going on in not just America, but the world, now's the time to share it. The objective is to fill up the space with gratitude, positivity, and love! The rules are simple, record a video expressing gratitude and tag those individuals in it. Share it on social media with the hashtag #MakeAmericaGratefulAgain @allietswain @zach1904 @nausheenshah @conni.biesalski @andrew.salgado.artist @ellen_degeneres @theellenshow @theviewabc @cubs Will you join the movement to make America, and the world, grateful again? #makeamericagreatagain #america #grateful #als #icebucketchallenge #gratitude #positivity #love

A video posted by Daily Self-Care (@dailyselfcare) on

The #MakeAmericaGratefulAgain challenge “rules” are simple:

  • Nominate a few people by expressing thanks and gratitude for whatever reason. Love, kindness, best bbq, hugs, it’s your call!
  • Make a video to share on social media, name the people and why. Make certain to tag them so they know. (FYI, Instagram is 1 minute max)
  • In the text box, name, tag, and tell your nominees once again, especially if you cannot get it under 60 seconds. Or do it twice
  • Share on social media and include the hashtag #MakeAmericaGratefulAgain
  • Sit back, take a deep breath in, hold, release and be grateful, even for the smallest of things because life is uncertain at best

In health and wellness,

Gus @dailyselfcare

What has been happening recently in North Dakota is despicable:

Since at least March, local Native American populations have been protesting against the new Dakota Access Pipeline, which threatens to potentially poison their clean water supply, and disturb the local natural resources and sacred tribal lands.

And over the weekend, militarized law enforcement were joined by US armed forces deployed on Native land, and State oppression of those brave individuals defending their own sovereign land has turned brutally inhumane.

Thursday, the “North Dakota Tactical Operations Center” rolled out the Humvees, armored cars, riot police and snipers, and violently attacked the Native Water Protectors with Long Range Acoustic Device (LRAD) directional sound cannons, rubber bullets, tasers, beanbag shotgun rounds, flash grenades, and batons to force their way onto tribal land and allow the oil pipeline construction to proceed.

Alarmists in the media have been doomsaying that, if elected, Donald Trump threatens to bring tyranny and outright fascism to the United States. But, just watch these videos and witness how, our country has already become a tyrannical power over recent decades, with no meddling from Trump yet whatsoever.

Morton County, ND – Over two hundred multi-state law enforcement and National Guard personnel attacked water protectors gathered on unceded 1851 Oceti Sakowin treaty land just north of the Standing Rock Sioux Reservation in the late morning of Thursday, October 27th. [Unicorn Riot]

Please click here for the full report, and Unicorn Riot’s ongoing coverage of the story.

Watching these images should make the stomach turn.

Who do these “peace officers” work for? Certainly not for the American people anymore.

When Big Oil corporations essentially pressure the government to use law enforcement and military as their own private security forces, something is very wrong.

This is the military-industrial complex Eisenhower warned of in 1961, hard at work administering injustice on behalf of the oil companies and the corporatocracy.

From a certain perspective, it could almost be said that the next civil war has already begun, as the United States government has decidedly turned against the American people and is attacking its own citizens on many fronts recently — not just against the Sioux tribes, but against all of us who value our sovereignty, our clean air and water, and who revere the land as sacred.

“Brimming with hubris and self-importance, the ruling Elite and mainstream media cannot believe they have lost the consent of the governed.” -Charles Hugh Smith

In my research about the Dakota Access Pipeline and other very disparate topics, I serendipitously came across the following, years-old wisdom, attributed as a “Message from the Hopi Elders” of Oraibi, Arizona — strangely enough as far back as the very early 2000s.

The message’s real origin is disputed, and may very well be misattributed. But whatever its true origins, I believe there is still great value to be drawn from this message at this moment in history:

A Message from the Hopi Elders

You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is The Hour.

Here are the things that must be considered:

Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in right relation?
Where is your water?
Know your garden.
It is time to speak your Truth.
Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader.

This could be a good time!

There is a river flowing now very fast.
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.
They will try to hold on to the shore.
They will feel like they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination.
The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off toward the middle of
the river,
keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water.

See who is there with you and celebrate.

At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, least of all
ourselves!
For the moment we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time of the lonely wolf is over.
Gather yourselves!

Banish the word struggle from your attitude and vocabulary.

All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we have been waiting for.

The Elders,
Oraibi, Arizona
Hopi Nation

Again, this is of dubious origin and you can read here for more discussion about it’s validity. But it led me to something even more important in my search for the original source of this passage: a very real message from Sioux Elder Red Crow about the sacredness of the land.

Floyd Red Crow Westerman was known for years as a renaissance man, for his many talents, dedication and passion. A member of the Dakota (Sioux) nation, he was an accomplished actor on the big and small screen for over 20 years, a political advocate for Indian and environmental causes worldwide and a popular singer/songwriter, performing with such stars as Willie Nelson, Bonnie Raitt, Don Henley and Kris Kristofferson to name just a few.

Living Spiritually-Connected

This from the Swedish documentary Jakten på Undergångsmyten, about Hopi prophecy, a decade old:

Perhaps we should be reminded to listen to our elders here, who often may have important perspective and wisdom that the younger generations lack.

I recommend you learn more from Red Crow.

Back in Morton County, North Dakota, it is being reported that the “Great Herd” of the Buffalo Nation and even the eagle and falcon spirits have recently visited the Sioux water protectors:

There are those who say that the Sacred is watching what’s unfolding in the Dakotas, and even the animal spirits are showing their support for the Standing Rock Sioux water protectors.

Meanwhile, President Obama is tweeting about baseball.

“…how apathetic and casually accepting most of us are of the most silent war ever waged, not on climate, but on people and on the planet.” Chelsea Rustrum

Nobody is going to fix the world for us. You must be the Hero of your own story, be a champion for your own community, and have the courage to do what is best for your loved ones and those around you. This also means you must live more spiritually-connected, and preserve the land, the clean air and water that sustains you. “We are the ones we have been waiting for.”

That is why I applaud the bravery of the Water Protectors, and I pray for the Sioux Nation and others in the Dakotas fighting to protect the land. Talk about Real-Life Heroes! In the face of overwhelming threat of force, they are standing their ground at Standing Rock reservation.

The rest of us cannot allow this kind of behavior from our government. They’ll be coming for YOU soon enough if we let them treat our Native American brothers and sisters this way.

Click here to support the indigenous-led resistance to the Dakota Access Pipeline.

Click here to learn more about the Dakota Access Pipeline background and rising tensions.

There have been many many attempts to polarize us in recent years. Black versus white. Red versus blue. Men versus women. Rich versus poor. Police versus civilian. But when we stand united in what is universally right, we can become an unstoppable force for good, for truth, for love.

united-movement

My sincere gratitude to all the indigenous peoples of the world, who help serve as valued and responsible stewards of the Earth, important spiritual guides and shamanic conduits to the transcendent.

The buffalo run free again! #NoDAPL

Reporting live from Chiang Mai city in northern Thailand, after the royal announcement Thursday, October 13th that His Majesty King Rama IX has passed into immortality.

Watch the video below. You won’t believe what happens at 3:33! I was recording from my balcony when this happened:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvljjDyNUGQ

“The death of the Thai king throws the country into turmoil”

warns The Economist

“Thailand as we knew it is now at an end” – from the Bangkok Post even.

It’s true, the world’s longest-reigning monarch King Bhumibol Adulyadej of Thailand, passed on Thursday at 88 years old. He was a universally-loved leader, and revered as almost a god. With the utmost respect, I have been saddened by his passing, and I stand with Thailand and my Thai friends as they mourn this very sad time.

Please click here to read my formal announcement about the King.

This day has been coming for a long time, and many have speculated that it may plunge the country into chaos. But so far things are not so bad. There will of course be challenges in the succession process and as power is transferred, and this is the end of an era.

But don’t believe all the headlines. Especially the international (US) mainstream.

I mean no disrespect with my stunt here, and I apologize if I caused anyone momentary panic, but I mean only to call your attention to the fact that manipulation is everywhere, and illustrate with my own example.

Everything in Chiang Mai at least is fairly normal so far. There is a quiet respectful air of mourning. But as my colleague Simon Black astutely noted, “same same but different” as the Thai motto goes.

It’s mostly hyped-up rhetoric to get you to click. These old world newspapers and mainstream media organizations are dying a painful, slow death as the internet gradually, but inevitably, sweeps across the globe and transforms society.

They are losing their influence, and the old oligarchs (and new technocrats) who own these major “news” sites and media portals will do ANYTHING to stay in business, to keep the profits rolling in, to grab your attention.

Their very livelihoods, actually, depend upon dominating your attention.

They are distraction machines, really. Because if they don’t distract you from your real life, from your actual responsibilities, from what’s directly important to you, and the things you should be doing to take care of yourself, your family, and the people you care about — if they can’t distract you from that then they’ll go out of business.

Which is why you continually find them spreading alarmist, sensational, often one-sided stories, often outright propaganda — whether it’s for the state, for their affiliated organizations whose agendas they support, or simply in their biggest stockholder’s best interests.

And by the way America: you know your government made it legal to spread propaganda within US borders, to US citizens, through mass media — just before Independence Day 2013.

So don’t tell me it can’t happen in the U.S. Don’t be so foolish.

I want to tell you that a lot of what you see in the media — even on your Facebook feed or “trending” news — is manipulated, sensationalized, wildly exaggerated, or outright fabricated.

It’s called clickbait. And it’s important to know that you’re probably not immune to it.

And people can use our natural curiosity against us.

Like my man Ed Latimore, the pro heavyweight boxer who’s been dropping obscene amounts of TRUTH on Twitter recently said:

https://twitter.com/EdLatimore/status/776454488450330624

Especially the scared part. But I’ve been seeing a lot of all of the above lately.

Lots of fear-mongering and misinformation designed to keep you ignorant and powerless. Lots of manipulation, especially during this election cycle in America. The place is going mad.

But, just like here in Thailand right now, it’s not chaos in the streets — rather, it’s literal mental insanity that you’re letting the elites lead you into. (And America is suffering HARD right now from a mental health epidemic.)

And chances are, no matter who you elect President this year, there still won’t be utter chaos in the streets, nor a Hitler-like regime installed, or nuclear war apocalypse.

They’ll create a terrifying narrative out of almost thin air, repeat it a thousand times on every front page and every station, and eventually people believe it.

But, meanwhile here in Chiang Mai, with King Rama IX vacating the throne and a new King succeeding him, it is not the END of Thailand, the country is not in turmoil.

In fact, it’s still a stunningly beautiful spot to make your next vacation. I mean just go back and watch my video if you didn’t already.

I’ve seen so many people on social media panicking, spreading alarmist rumors. “Nightmare: My holiday is ruined,” said the Daily Mail! And yet, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the cows are grazing.

It’s laughable. I’d call it major exaggeration in this case, to stir up fear in people.

(If you want to follow the real situation, I recommend you find on-the-ground, local voices — here is my recommended Twitter shortlist.)

But see how easy it was for me to get your click with my alarmist headline?

You introduce a problem. Then you offer the solution.

Even if you have to create the problem.

And when you filter the happenings of over 7 billion people across the globe, looking for the very worst — the scariest  and most shocking events, the most violent, the most negative things imaginable — and broadcast that across the whole world as if it’s the norm, and repeat it over and over a thousand times, then you can easily start to deceive people into thinking the world is going to hell.

I’ve caught myself recently addicted to this distraction and fear porn and “political anxiety” as they’re calling it in America.

But the world they portray on the screen does not align with reality. And you need to know that.

Most of us, when we look outside the window, life is mostly pretty good.

That’s not to say there are no real news stories out there, but we are no longer dealing with journalism in the mainstream media, we are dealing with infotainment and, frankly, often indoctrination. Everybody wants you to think like they do, or think like they tell you to.

But be vigilant heroes, because most of the time others will coax you into nothing but FEAR or DESIRE.

There are real concerns out there in the world for sure, but it’s all about perspective.

Mostly you just need to DO YOU.

Don’t forget to go take a walk, talk to your neighbors, spend time in The Present with your family and loved ones, work on YOU, and listen to your inner voice for direction. Not the TV, or the newspaper, or Facebook, Google, Twitter, Yahoo, or even Huffington Post.

They all have a vested interest in keeping you distracted, fearful, misinformed, and worried about imaginary bogeymen.

2010 protests in Bangkok

The attached photo is actually from 2010 in Bangkok. I was in the heart of real protests and violence in Thailand in 2009 and 2010, when things did get hairy, but I also saw Thais come together afterwards in amazing cooperation

The real bogeyman is not in the headlines. He is not out there, coming for your job, or your life. You don’t need to hide your wife, or your kids.

The real bogeyman is usually yourself.

Most fears are imagined.

Start with the man in the mirror, and let everything else take care of itself.

If you’re ready to start working on yourself, developing a higher perspective, and occasionally hearing the REAL big-picture scoop from someone who’s been living outside the “Reality Distortion Field” for a while, traveling over 30 countries on 4 continents for the last 8 years, join me on the Hero’s Journey — just fill out the form below.

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds! Marcus Garvey

moonset king thailand

A cloudy night, a God-King’s final day, the moon says goodbye.

Respectful Condolences for the King of Thailand

It is with great sadness that I share the news: the day has come, as of royal announcement yesterday, His Majesty King Rama IX has vacated the throne.

Universally adored across Thailand for his dedication to his people and their unique culture, I pray he rests in peace after a lifetime of hard work and commitment to bettering his society. With great respect, and heartfelt condolences, I stand with my Thai friends and the country as a whole as they go through this important time of mourning.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozTIvnuu3Js

I have spent many years as a guest in this remarkable community thanks only to the generosity of King Bhumibol Adulyadej, and been treated with absolute grace and love by the vast majority of its beautiful people.

Though I will never fully know what it’s like to be born Thai, the country and its people will forever hold an immensely special place in my heart, and I am forever grateful for the profound spiritual and personal growth opportunity this has given me, and thankful to have come to understand a fair bit about the Thai culture and their love for a great leader who many looked up to as the father of a societal FAMILY — the Dhammaraja, Chao Chiwit.

This will be a time of reverence and ceremony that may very well be difficult for many Western viewers to comprehend. Start here for a good introduction.

The coming days, weeks, and months will likely be different for many of us. I highly recommend as foreigners that you show respect, and more importantly empathy for the mourning of the Thai people, have patience as shops may be closed, events canceled, entertainment zones/nightlife is downplayed, and some things may become a bit more inconvenient.

If you want to follow the local situation on the ground here in Thailand, here is my recommended Twitter shortlist.

There is no reason for alarm, though it may be expected to wear black, or dark, muted colors for the coming 30 to 99 days depending where you are, pay attention for official announcements, news updates, and cultural cues from your Thai friends, but let’s all remember that we are guests here and right now is a time for quiet reflection, humility, sympathy, and love.

In His Majesty’s own words:

“A good person can make another person good; it means that goodness will elicit goodness in the society; other persons will also be good.”

I’m bookmarking this page to return to soon for further research on the Theravada Buddhist concept of the Dhammaraja (ธรรมราชา) and the Ten Guiding Principles for a King (defined as the virtues of a righteous ruler):

King Bhumibol and His Enlightened Approach to Teaching

Thai father's day

Celebrating the King’s birthday and Thailand’s Father’s Day holiday on December 5th shortly after arriving in the country in 2008.

Thai King Bhumibol Benny Goodman

His Majesty the King is playing jazz with Benny Goodman

Thai King Bhumibol Adulyadej

Long Live the King

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1wg1DNHbNU

The 1980 song “Once in a Lifetime” was one of the Talking Heads’ most iconic songs, still puzzling listeners over 35 years later.

But damn if that tune ain’t catchy! The mesmerizing music video used to run on repeat on MTV eons ago when the M actually stood for music, and the song become so popular even Kermit the Frog sang a rendition on The Muppet Show.

First released on their album Remain in Light, there have been many varying interpretations of the song’s lyrics over the years — with verses written by David Byrne, and a chorus written and sung in part by the hugely influential pop producer of the time, Brian Eno, who also produced the entire album.

Lead man David Byrne, in a tight-fitted suit and wire-frame glasses, seems to tumble over and over, “letting the days go by”, perhaps playing equal parts middle-class everyman struggling to catch his breath running the hamster wheel of “success”, and soapbox preacher inviting the listener to reflect on his own life critically.

“And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack…”

Alongside a handful of similarly introspective soundtrips of the affluent 80s, the song’s lyrics revolve primarily around themes of impermanence and the fleeting nature of happiness, as time keeps marching on uncaringly. We’re raised to believe our lives will turn out a certain way — to have certain expectations. We’re shown certain symbols of achievement and prestige on the television, and the promise of wealth, happiness, and success are constantly dangled in front of us by our consumer culture. But many people work hard for decades, they chase the carrots they see in popular culture, only to find they wake up one day, like Byrne’s character in this song, questioning how the hell they ended up where they are, not happy with the things they have.

“And you may find yourself in another part of the world…”

It turns into an existential crisis, as Byrne questions his entire reality, and whether it is futile to even try to “remove the water at the bottom of the ocean”. Trying to push against the forces of nature, like the passing of time, and the underlying truth of life, may be impossible, but I believe the song points to a once in a lifetime chance to truly “wake up” to reality — to realize how you’ve allowed yourself to be carried along by life, to snap out of the mindless routine, take stock of your life, how you got here, and to commit to being more conscious of your journey.

“And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile…”

I think it’s an artful expression of just how easy it is to get caught up in the monotony of life, to live your days on autopilot, and to forget just how precious our time here is.

Even as someone who’s built a location-independent business, traveled and lived across four continents, and had my fair share of wild fun, living by my own rules, I still got caught up in unconscious patterns that robbed me of my health and wealth, that undermined my true purpose and fulfillment, and that left me wanting so much more. It’s as if I had been asleep at the wheel, and suddenly woke up. Sometimes I wonder if our whole species is slowly undergoing a gradual awakening right now…

“And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife / And you may ask yourself – Well… How did I get here?”

After spending the summer in California finally introducing my 2½ old son to my family, and spending time supporting my mom through her breast cancer treatment and surgery, we’ve finally returned to Asia, and I find myself seemingly living inside this Talking Heads song.

Somehow I find myself in a beautiful home beyond my wildest dreams, and I am fortunate to have an incredible, beautiful partner Jam Milcah, who’s an amazing mother to our son Christopher.

Jam Milcah

Chiang Mai condo

Chris Radio Flyer

“And you may tell yourself – This is not my beautiful house! / And you may tell yourself – This is not my beautiful wife!”

How in the world did I end up with a 2½ old!? My friends are always asking why I’m not in the bar! When did I become such a grownup?

Is this even the life I wanted?

I used to think I was chasing something different, and I spent far too long desperately running away from the responsibilities of fatherhood and adulthood, until I finally realized that I had the most perfect life I couldever imagine, already in my hands.

It took me two or three years to really dig deep inside, examine my fears, expectations, values, and desires, and really understand who I am and what I’m here to do.

Now I can look back with clarity and see how in my pursuit of certain goals, in getting caught up in what other people wanted from me, and in trying to portray myself in a certain way, I forgot who I really was.

I found myself hopelessly lost for so long, feeling purposeless, overwhelmed with the expectations of others, and confused by the deluge of distraction around me.

I felt imprisoned by my own business, by technology, by the constant firehose of email and social media, by the negative news, and all the things violently trying to hijack our attention these days. And I caught myself participating in and even perpetuating this system of enslavement.

I didn’t even feel human anymore. I felt buried alive, letting the water hold me down.

So I finally had the epiphany: I desperately needed to change everything — my whole business, my behaviors, and myself, from the ground up.

I’d been accepting a certain level of mediocrity from myself, and I didn’t even realize it. I was letting outside influences tell me what was important, rather than following my inner compass.

I blamed all my problems on outside sources, and on other people. But it was me who unconsciously created a life that felt so draining. I had irresponsibly built a disorganized business that became unmanageable and I neglected to do the things necessary to keep the mission aligned with my own purpose.

I had gotten so negative, and thought that everything and everyone was such a mess, when really the mess was inside me. Turmoil is the appropriate word here.

It took me three years to really understand that I had built my own invisible prison cell. But the bars and the door took so long to even see.

I had become so out of touch with who I really am deep inside. I was letting the days go by, and ignoring the deep river of life inside me, that “water flowing underground” in the Talking Heads’ song.

So it took me more than a year of dedicated soul-searching and WORKING on myself to reconnect with that deep purpose inside, to re-learn how to really go with the flow of life (“how do I work this?”), rather than trying to pushagainst and attempt to do the futile.

Sadly, I’ve put a lot of important things on the back burner in the meantime — neglecting important friends, lagging months behind on my email inbox, failing to provide the kind of customer support my community really deserves, missing out on lots of opportunities, and upsetting many people along the way. I’m certainly not perfect, and I’ve been unable to sustainably juggle the many responsibilities I got myself wrapped up in. But it has been a truly enlightening journey, examining my own inner demons, uncovering many important truths for myself, and reawakening the real, authentic me.

As David Byrne told NPR when asked about the meaning behind Once in a Lifetime:

“We’re largely unconscious. You know, we operate half awake or on autopilot and end up, whatever, with a house and family and job and everything else, and we haven’t really stopped to ask ourselves, ‘How did I get here?'”

This is an invitation to look more critically at your life, to take responsibility for your decisions and your habits, to remember who you really are, accept what you can’t change, and have the courage to work on what you can, and realize that only you can take charge and build the life you really want.

If you don’t pay close attention, life will carry you down the river of time so fast and you’ll find yourself lost before you even know it.

We’re all frequently going through some crisis or another, and that’s okay. You’ll never reach some plateau of success, and there is no final happy ending in life, just the journey. In all our treadmill-running, many of us often forget who we really are. But it’s certainly a lot more fun when you climb out of your rut, open your eyes and live consciously, and make decisions for yourself, living in connection with your true purpose and values.

The song concludes with the more optimistic proclamation that “Time isn’t holding us / Time isn’t after us” (in one version, Byrne even throws in “Time is a pony ride” for a laugh) reminding listeners that while life doesn’t stop for anyone, the continual passage of time does not have to be the trap we make it out to be in our minds, and urging you to strive to free yourself from conventional societal ideas about success, from the story you tell yourself about the life you think you’re entitled to, and to escape from the invisible prison you may have built for yourself.

Many people attribute a nihilistic, negative overtone to this classic song, but the message is not that it’s futile to seek freedom. It’s simply about being conscious of your surroundings, and more importantly about showing gratitude for the good things. Once you reframe things in your mind and take responsibility for everything in your life, you just might find as I did, that you already have EVERYTHING you ever wanted, right in the palms of your hands.

As Brian Eno later said about Remain in the Light, “that record is terribly optimistic, looking out to the world and saying ‘what a fantastic place we live in, lets celebrate it.'”

Whether it’s a quarter-life crisis you’re going through, whether it’s the looming responsibilities of parenthood that you face, as I did, or even if you’re going through a midlife crisis or entering your later years right now, you’re never too old to make a change. Just because you’ve followed one path to where you are now, it does not mean you can’t change direction.

Sometimes you need to cut your losses and pursue a new path entirely, even if it feels like you’ve invested a huge amount of your time and energy into something. Even (especially) if it feels like your entire identity is invested in who you’ve been for so long, and you fear how others might respond to your change. Even if you’re 93 years old and you’ve spent your entire life living one way — if the path you’re on isn’t serving you, and it’s important enough to you to get different results, then it’s never too late to change. Screw what anybody else thinks.

Sometimes it’s okay to scrap EVERYTHING and start over from scratch.

Sometimes you need to take some time to analyze your surroundings, synthesize what works best, remove what doesn’t, and orchestrate a transformational personal rebirth.

It’s okay to become a new, different person. If the old you just doesn’t feel right anymore, then chances are you’re probably meant to become someone new. Listen to your inner voice.

Since I found out I was going to be a father, it drastically transformed my priorities, my responsibilities, and pushed me to install new values and habits. It’s been incredibly challenging, I’ve messed up a lot along the way, but it has motivated me to slowly change everything — for the better!

This major life change terrified me for a very long time. But when I finally accepted responsibility (and reality) it also gave me the real passion to finally fulfill the promise I made when I started this blog in 2006:

I called this site Thrilling Heroics for a reason.

This was supposed to be about continual learning and personal growth. About building a better future, and living life passionately.

I got distracted, confused, played the victim, and let fear slow me down many times along the way. But now I embark upon the real inner work of continually becoming the best version of myself, committing to be the role model my son deserves, and doing whatever is necessary to consciously sculpt my life and my business into something that is aligned with my real values, and that gives me and my family genuine freedom and fulfillment.

This is not a static, one-time change either. This will be a lifelong commitment.

No more settling for mediocre. No more letting the days go by.

Over the coming weeks and months, you will see significant changes here at Thrilling Heroics as I work to unveil my authentic self to you more openly, to share my own transformations with you, and try to help shed what light I can on the process of self-improvement for those of you on a similar mission.

Thank you guys for reading, for your patience with me, your understanding when I’ve fucked up, and for your support. This community means the world to me, and I’m committed to delivering the best damn insights and advice you deserve.

Are you on a similar journey?

Follow my misadventures on the journey to become a Real-Life HERO, and get no-bullshit fatherhood, entrepreneurship, and personal development tips delivered straight to your inbox.

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In case you missed it, recently on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast (JRE) #739, Christopher Ryan, Joe Rogan, and Duncan Trussell spoke at length about the new, growing class of Western technical professionals quitting their 9-to-5 jobs, some of them RVing across the USA, or even becoming permanent travelers and “digital nomads” — pioneering a new way of living beyond borders.

I still highly recommend you pay your taxes, but this is an interesting conversation nonetheless!

Dr. Chris Ryan is a psychologist, speaker, and author of New York Times best seller Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships, and also host of his own podcast “Tangentially Speaking”. Duncan Trussell is a stand-up comedian, and host of his own podcast “The Duncan Trussell Family Hour“.

Watch the full JRE #739 episode here (Highly recommended!)

Learn more about 61-year-old fitness trainer and perpetual traveler Steve Maxwell here.