Tag Archive for: fear

A Call to Arms

What is your Great Work? The important stuff you know deep in your soul you MUST accomplish during your short speck of time here in a meatsuit on this strange little ball flying a thousand miles an hour through the cosmos?

The thing that’s been calling you, for months, maybe years? Your Holy Grail.

If you know what it is, then you’re probably terrified just like me.

Because starting is scary. The unknown is scary. People are assholes and criticism hurts.

But thank the heavens, God gave us Ze Frank. The man who started video blogging before vlogging was a thing.

If you don’t know what your Great Work is yet, then you should probably go dive into something that scares you until you discover it.

But if you know perfectly well, and you’ve been stuck in a rut like me…

Then watch that again.

I’m scared. I’m scared that my abilities are gone, I’m scared that I’m going to fuck this up, and I’m scared of you.

I don’t want to start, but I will.

This is an invocation for anyone who hasn’t begun, who’s stuck in a terrible place between zero and one.

Let me realize that my past failures at follow-through are no indication of my future performance. They’re just healthy little fires that are going to warm up my ass.

If my FILDI is strong, let me keep him in a velvet box until I really, really need him. If my FILDI is weak, let me feed him oranges and not let him gorge himself on ego and arrogance.

Let me not hit up my Facebook like it’s a crack pipe. Keep the browser closed.

If I catch myself wearing a too-too (too fat, too late, too old) let me shake it off like a donkey would shake off something it doesn’t like.

And when I get that feeling in my stomach — you know the feeling when all of a sudden you get a ball of energy and it shoots down into your legs and up into your arms and tells you to stand up and go to the refrigerator and get a cheese sandwich — that’s my cheese monster talking. And my cheese monster will never be satisfied by cheddar, only the cheese of accomplishment.

Let me think about the people who I care about the most, and how when they fail or disappoint me I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself.

Let me find and use metaphors to help me understand the world around me and give me the strength to get rid of them when it’s apparent they no longer work.

Let me thank the parts of me that I don’t understand or are outside of my rational control like my creativity and my courage.

And let me remember that my courage is a wild dog. It won’t just come when I call it. I have to chase it down and hold on as tight as I can.

Let me not be so vain to think that I’m the sole author of my victories and a victim of my defeats.

Let me remember that the unintended meaning that people project onto what I do is neither my fault or something I can take credit for.

Perfectionism may look good in his shiny shoes, but he’s a little bit of an asshole and no one invites him to their pool parties.

Let me remember that the impact of criticism is often not the intent of the critic, but when the intent is evil, that’s what the block button’s for.

And when I eat my critique, let me be able to separate out the good advice from the bitter herbs.

There are few people who won’t be disarmed by a genuine smile.
A big impact on a few can be worth more than a small impact.

Let me not think of my work only as a stepping stone to something else, and if it is, let me become fascinated with the shape of the stone.

Let me take the idea that has gotten me this far and put it to bed. What I am about to do will not be that, but it will be something.

There is no need to sharpen my pencils anymore. My pencils are sharp enough. Even the dull ones will make a mark.

Warts and all. Let’s start this shit up.

And God let me enjoy this. Life isn’t just a sequence of waiting for things to be done.

decision making

We’ll do it live!

“There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world, and that is an idea whose time has come.”

–attributed to Victor Hugo

Time to start slaying dragons…

thrilling heroics

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Jordan Peterson and the Rules to Win the Game of Life

Ever since I lost two of my best friends at age 20, Chris and Kareem, I’ve spent the last 14 years looking — around the god forsaken globe mind you, in every dark corner I could find — for hope.

This man helped set off a chain of events that helped me find my misplaced faith again, and take important responsibility for certain things in my life.

The process was not easy. It cost me everything I had. But I am rebuilding myself stronger than ever and with a much clearer understanding of why I’m here than ever before.

Jordan B. Peterson is a controversial professor at the center of the sociopolitical culture war erupting in the West right now who has been vilified in outrageous ways by his critics.

But I believe Peterson — of all the wildly different people I’ve encountered across four continents — I believe this man may be the most important living intellectual of our time, akin to a modern-day Joseph Campbell.

You may disagree with his views, but what the professor of psychology at the University of Toronto is doing just may tip the scales in humanity’s favor and help warring tribes and hostile brothers come to understand each other.

Right when we most need a miracle.

0:30 Introduction/Rise to Fame & Gender Pronouns
3:28 “Radical in a Conservative way”
5:54 Jung/Archetypes/Collective Unconscious
10:30 Integrating of the Logos
15:45 Bringing yourself into Alignment
19:06 Nature of Responsibility & Rights / Message for Men
22:00 Masculinity in the West
25:50 Post-Modernism
29:40 Integrating your Shadow, “You are the Locus of Evil”, Mind and Body alignment
34:50 Relation to the Raising of Children
37:50 Piaget’s developmental model and continual integration vs Freud
39:00 Speaking the Truth
41:02 On Atheism, Rationalism, Morality, Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins etc.
44:10 Intellectualism, embodiment
45:20 Motivation for true understanding

Following along with his Maps of Meaning and Personality & Its Transformations courses at the University of Toronto was a transformational process that helped me understand a lot of the deeper wisdom in the value system I was raised within. Not only that, but working through the Self Authoring program he and his academic colleagues created is also helping me create a much more accurate mental map to navigate the trials and challenges of life.

Along with the work of many others, including Joseph Campbell and Carl Jung, Peterson’s work has helped me through the most challenging times of my life, and helped me learn to navigate incredible failure, suffering, pain, and face immense terror with a newfound zen-like faith in the process.

Life is suffering.

Love is the desire to see unnecessary suffering ameliorated.

Truth is the handmaiden of love.

Dialogue is the pathway to truth.

Humility is recognition of personal insufficiency and the willingness to learn.

To learn is to die voluntarily and to be born again, in great ways and small.

So, speech must be untrammeled, so that dialogue can take place; so that we can all humbly learn, so that truth can serve love, so that suffering can be ameliorated, so that we can all stumble forward, so to speak, towards the kingdom of God.”

–Jordan Peterson

 

 

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The Reason You Still Work a Corporate Gig While Others Live Your Dream

the King must Rise

This is a guest post from Charlie Houpert of Charisma on Command. He helps people to create their dream lives by practicing courage and improving their charisma.

Ever wonder what allows some people to live the dream?

I’m talking about breaking out of the 9-5 office life, traveling the world, and pursuing projects you genuinely care about. Have you heard of people doing that and though “Damn, I wish I could do that?”

Then buckle up.

I’m about to share with you a powerful mindset that will enable you to finally set up your life so that you can escape the corporate grind. If you’re 100% fulfilled by your job – perfect. This post isn’t for you. But if part of you longs for that world traveling, self-employed dream, I want you to know you can have it literally within the next few weeks.

But before I talk about the mindset, first watch this scene from Batman: The Dark Knight Rises…

Why? Because it’s a metaphor. You are Bruce Wayne. The prison is your job. And the rope is everything you think you need.

You’ll see how soon.

My Story

I live in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. I have an apartment 2 ½ blocks from the beach that I share with 5 of my best friends For half of what we spent in NYC, we eat out every night, spend part of every day on the beach, and are healthier and happier then ever.

And we all work for ourselves.

People assume I must have had some charmed background to live like this. Mom and Dad must be supporting me or I must have sold my company for a crazy exit.

Not at all.

I moved to Brazil five months ago with $20,000 in the bank, $100,000 in debt, and no job prospects. That’s a net worth of -$80,000 for the numerically challenged.

Chances are you are not in financial circumstances worse that that. So if I can set up the dream with such dismal financials, you can too.

You just have to shift your mindset. Make the shift and you can be on your own beach – wherever that may be – by the end of the month.

What’s the mindset?

Make the Climb Without the Rope

What is the rope?

The rope is everything that feels like your lifeline. The things that guarantee you’ll wind up right back where you started if you should take a risk and fail. The rope represents certainty and security.

The rope is your paycheck.

The esteem of your colleagues.

The flawless resume.

The comfort of continually saving, month after month

As long as you insist on having those things, you’re tied to the status quo. You’ll stay in the corporate world because it is the ONLY way to maintain them. There is no monthly salary for traveling the world and pursuing what you love (at least not immediately). Plus, if you leave your current job, you’ll miss the upcoming promotion and the glowing HBS recommendation from your boss.

If you want to get out of the corporate world, you need to be willing to leave the corporate world behind. Sounds obvious, but people forget that also means leaving the security of the corporate world behind. That means leaving behind an ever-increasing bank account, the adulation of your colleagues, a sure-fire 3-year plan… all that gets temporarily tossed out the window. And the more you insist on not leaving behind those things, the more stuck to your current situation you become.

Which reveals the paycheck/the resume/the rope for what they really are… they’re not safety nets. They’re chains. They might keep you safe from catastrophe, but they also ensure that you’ll never break free to live the life of your dreams.

If You’re Still in the Corporate World, Maybe You Can Relate

Maybe you’ve heard yourself say:

I don’t have enough money

I need someone to go with me

I’m not as brave as other people

Life isn’t about goofing off

What would everyone say?

Every one of these excuses says: “I NEED MORE CERTAINTY THAT THIS WILL WORK!” The irony is that it is only by giving up certainty and security that you can achieve something greater.

So what should I do?

Try this. It’s an exercise from The Four Hour Work Week called fear setting.

What if you stopped caring about all the things that give you security today?

What if you cut the rope?

Seriously…

Ask yourself: what would happen if you HAD to leave work in 90 days to chase your dream for at least six months?

List it out.

  • Your bank account would take a hit, that’s for sure.
  • There’d be a gaping hole in your resume.
  • Some people would think you were crazy (and some people would think you were a hero).
  • You’d piss off your boss and your family.
  • You’d have to find some other way to pay for yourself.

Not ideal. But not terrible. You could get another job. Earn money doing side gigs.

And if things went belly up you could come back on your hands and knees and beg your way into a similar position, given the skills you’ve developed.

All in all, pretty recoverable.

And what’s the upside?

Worst-case scenario, you’d be living the dream for six months. Then back to the doldrums to save up enough money to take another crack at doing something you love.

Best-case scenario, you find a way to make the dream sustainable by working for yourself. That decision to leave could be the best decision of your life.

But you won’t make that decision as long as you refuse to take a risk. You won’t make it out of prison if you insist on wearing the rope. That’s not how the climb works.

So Are You Still Committed to Getting Out?

Seriously?

Then do what I did. This is what got me out after 2 years of talking about it and not doing anything. And it worked the first try.

Set a FIRM date within the next four months to leave your job. A specific date – i.e. April 5th. Take into consideration bonuses, and projects and all that good stuff, but absolutely do not postpone it until next year. It needs to be real.

Then schedule time to talk to your boss and let him/her know. That will force you to stay committed to your pursuing your dreams. If you keep it as an internal commitment, you may waver. Tell your boss you’re leaving and you’ve got no other option.

You can even pitch it to your boss as a necessary six-month sabbatical. If you like, you can leave the door open to return. Though remember, you’re not asking permission to leave. You’re telling your boss you’re leaving and offering him the chance to get you back at the end of six months (if you decide that’s what you want).

The point is: stop waiting for a perfect fall back plan. Put a date on the calendar and force yourself to do what you know you should, come what may. Like Tim Ferriss says:

“For all of the most important things, the timing always sucks. Waiting for a good time to quit your job? The stars will never align and the traffic lights of life will never all be green at the same time. The universe doesn’t conspire against you, but it doesn’t go out of its way to line up the pins either. Conditions are never perfect. “Someday” is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you. Pro and con lists are just as bad. If it’s important to you and you want to do it “eventually,” just do it and correct course along the way.”

To get out, you have to make the climb without the rope.

Watch it again.

Now, rise.

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